My Hijab Diaries

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious and The Most Merciful.

Salam Readers :)

It's been nearly a decade since i started wearing hijab. The first time i officially wore a hijab was in Secondary 5. I used to wear them during school and then flung them open right after :p

So that's the whole summary. To start with the exact story, well, it all started with the whole wardrobe thingy. I used to wear t-shirt and a three-quarter jeans and i love to put my hair in a bun. Mind u, i'm S size and all my clothes were so small. And one day i get the uneasy feeling whenever my skin was exposed. I try to ignore but i can't. For starters, i wore a three-quarter shirt and no more t-shirt. But after a while, the uneasy feeling strikes me again. That's when i asked mum for a long sleeve shirt and dispose all my baby tee.

Then it came to the hair part. Same thing happened. I feel so uncomfortable having people looking at my hair eventho there's nothing wrong with it. I grab any hijab i have in the closet and put it on and wore them whenever i went to the state library. Oh, time tu ske tengok my friend pakai tudung. hehe. Nampak kemas je. The first hijab style is the common one that people usually puts on. Yang style simpang tu. Alaa, mule2 pakai kan so the main point is to cover the head so basically it's a bit hanging la. What i'm trying to say is i didn't focus on covering my chest as long as my head is covered. Pasal baju tu pon time tu as long as it's long sleeve despite it's hanging above my hip, i feel like i'm pretty much covered. Coz time tu aku ikut prinsip 'yang penting tutup rambut and baju lengan panjang'. I don't feel there's any wrong in the way i dress.

However, my story didn't stop there. years went by and i know there's something wrong. Baju singkat, tudung tak cover dada. I know there's something not right! It all hit me one day that it is not enough and still not proper. And then, rasa pelik mula menyelubungi diri. A voice keep saying this in my mind: 

Kepala tutup tapi dada nampak, tak cover pun dengan tudung. Baju lengan panjang tapi pendek, kalo berjalan confirm la orang belakang focus kat bontot. Padahal tak suke kalo orang laki2 tengok tapi pakai gak. pastu kalo diorang kacau start la melenting cakap macam tak pernah tengok perempuan. Padahal salah sendiri.

Photo courtesy of Aishah

That's when i start tu labuhkan my tudung and cover the chest and cari baju yang panjang. Now dah macam pelik je tengok bila perempuan pakai tudung tapi yang kat depan tu tertonjol keluar. And seriously2 as a lady, malu tengok. Huhu.

I've started to wear socks too now. I have a very sensitive skin so whenever i wear new shoes or sandals, i'm sure gonna get some blisters. So now dah terbiasa pakai socks kalo p keluar and i'm trying to make myself consistent in wearing them (Ada benefit gak kulit sensitif ni :p). Kalo tak pakai serious rasa macam still telanjang je. Huhu.

Fashion is my passion. I've always love how hijabis put on their style. However, most magazines and hijab tutorial nowadays shows the style that didn't really goes with the true Islamic comcept. Thick makeup, leggings, coloured nails, fit clothes, kaki terdedah, style tudung pun pendek tak cover dada, skinny jeans, etc. And the shocking part is header dia 'GAYA MUSLIMAH' Like seriously??! That didn't represent muslimah at all! I admit memang ramai orang dah start pakai tudung sekarang. Alhamdulillah. Tetapi, some bertudung just for the sake of fashion. Bila bosan, bukak balik. Tak salah actually nak berfesyen. I didn't say it's wrong. Islam pun tak melarang kita untuk bergaya. But then, fashion jd priority. Kebanyakkannya tak cover pun dada and baju pun hanging. So when u get used to it u never feel guilty sebab dah immune. I love fashion but again, i don't really see the point of showing off ur asset for the sake of being fashionable.

Now pun there's some of my wardrobe that i do think i should dispose and go for more decent clothes. The one that i feels like not worth wearing if He ain't please with the way i dress. But then i have to do it slowly coz buying new clothes ain't cheap yaw and baju sekarang mahal over the rainbow! So i still have to wear the one that i have now.

P/s: Why dress overly to impress people but it's in Allah's digrace? Recognition? Mintak kene puji cantik and seluruh dunia pandang? <-- yang ni common reason la. Eventho orang tak akan mengaku but deep down they know that's what their intention is.

My advice here to all muslimah yang belum pakai tudung, give it a try. mula2 memang akan rasa macam payah la panas la but then u'll get used to it. Lama kelamaan u'll start loving it and in the end u'll feel like u have to wear them no matter what coz it feels like u're going 'naked' when ur not wearing them. Just like going out without wearing a bra or ur shirt on. Nak tunggu seru, ni lah seru. menyeru korang pakai tudung. But remember, do not wear them for the sake of fashion. Wear them for the sake of Allah (swt). If i can still be fashionable while covering the part that should be covered, why can't you? Wear them fashionably but follow the proper Islamic concept :) 

I may not be a good muslim but i'm trying my best to be better for His sake, bukan fashion semata2 :) Dress modestly and the beauty will show.